|Son Files Harassment Charges Against Mother for Facebook Posts|Channel 7 News
||[Apr. 7th, 2010|04:03 pm]
There is a news story about a mother hi-jacking a sons Face-book and his suing over it. http://www.katv.com/news/stories/0410/723100.html|
But that's not what I want to talk about
The comments are bounce from both extremes from "Parents should be spy's" to "respect your kids" but one comment really resonated with me.
I remember when I was a teenager I became suspicious that my parents were secretly reading my private letters (pre-email days over 20 years ago now) that I was posting to my friends in another town, so I devised a way to check if they were or not without their knowing, and my suspicions were confirmed. I remember not only being extremely angry with the invasion of privacy, but also particularly the underhand way in which it was invaded. After that initial feeling wore off after the first few hours however, what remained was a feeling of disappointment in them that they would be willing to go behind my back like that. My feeling at the time was if they are going to attempt to learn about my personal life without my knowledge in any event, then I was not going to make it any easier for them than need be, and promptly stopped sharing any information whatsoever about my personal life with them, from that point onwards. That went on for a few years, but then I guess as you become an adult old habits die hard. We're all still civil to each other and love each other and all - but as an adult they're still not really privy to the details of my private life, and havn't been since then. Trust is a two way thing, and once you lose it, it'll usually stay lost.
I think that's the point. If you don't trust your kids to the point that you have to spy on them then you don't get to be surprised when they don't trust you.
Be involved with you kids, Talk to them, take a interest in them, but once you cross the line and break the trust bond then *poof* you got nothing.